Financial Insecurity: Chasing the Wolves from the Door.
I have struggled with financial insecurity and there seems to be no amount of money that solves this struggle.
This is a tough topic for me to talk about.
I grew up feeling the wolves were at the door. As a kid, I lay awake hearing my parents whispering about spending too much on groceries.
When I was 16 I moved out and started working.
Sometimes I got jobs and had food. Sometimes I had a place to stay, other times not. I took any job available, gritted my teeth, and swore I would provide a better life for my children. I wanted financial security more than I wanted to breathe.
I have worked extremely hard and been blessed. I have a nice car, a beautiful home, and sound investments.
Yet, sometimes, when the work stops and I lay my head on my pillow I wonder if tomorrow I will lose it all. Suddenly, I’m back on a park bench. I feel like everything I have could collapse and my children will feel what I felt.
It’s not just me. It’s my friend who drives a Rolls and wears designer clothes. It’s your neighbor who seems like they have it all. They are sprinting to the next goalpost hoping the wolves will leave the door. They are destroying relationships, crossing lines, and hurting their health just hoping that feeling goes away.
If there is an amount of money that makes this feel better, I haven’t achieved it. But, I’m coming to believe there is not.
I have everything, yet, I still struggle.
I have a solution that I am working to internalize.
For years when that feeling crept up and I started talking about unrealistic fears, my wife held me and said, “you’re on an escalator, Eli. It’s okay, you’re on an escalator”.
She is profoundly right. God has designed / the Universe is designed in a way, that good generates more good. Life supports life. The universe does not just collapse and people who make good, healthy decisions do not just crumble. The universe is designed to sustain life. My financial life is no different.
This changes my paradigm from the desperation of thinking I have to keep the balls in the air, to knowing that the balls will actually float if I keep doing what I’m doing.
I know that expressing this and knowing others feel this way already makes it better.
If you struggle with this as I do, please know that the wolves are only in your head and you are on an escalator.
Shabbat Shalom to all.
Eli
I like this article and have always made more than 95% of my peers, so I can relate. I will say that you should expect a collapse because that's Hashem's go to move is to do individual miracles when you are at a lower point. Since the love of money is the root of all evil, it can become a Biblical/Torah Job like test. If it's not money, it will be a family test or a combination as the hebrew word HaSatan is the accuser/adversary/testing agent. I'm a little older than you so my testament is based on a hybrid of this test for being righteous. Understand, fruit grows in the valleys, [of life] not the mountaintops.
Shabbat Shalom 🕊
Geoff